Manic Mom's Mental Myriads

Stop by and have a laugh from Manic Mom's Mental Myriads on Motherhood, and some other stuff too, but mostly motherhood, wifehood, thoughts on writing, etc. No politics will be discussed here or geography, and I will not be solving any mathematical equations. Just some BS on whatever I feel like blogging on...

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Can Somebody Invent This Please?

WARNING: This is a TMI post regarding the monthly occurrence of every woman.

If we can send a man to the moon, why can't somebody make monthly periods more bearable?!?!

If we can stick a plastic cylinder up our va-jiggities filled with cotton to collect the 'flow' why can't someone invent a device kind of like a turkey baster-slash-vacuum that we can just shove up there, collect the 'uterine lining' that is constantly building up and flowing down, month after month after agonizing month. We can just say, "Oops, I feel my period coming along. I'll just go get my trusty turkey-baster-slash-vacuum apparatus and get this thing over with."

Now, wouldn't that be a great invention?

12 Comments:

At 12:05 PM, Blogger Erin said...

Amen sister!

 
At 3:57 PM, Blogger The Dummy said...

Ok, note to self: don't read Manic Mom's blogs right before I eat something!!!!

 
At 4:10 PM, Blogger Christa said...

damn, for reals! In my case this month I'd have to use the contraption two or three times. Curses on Eve for allowing irregularity into our lives.

 
At 5:54 PM, Blogger Karyn Lyndon said...

Maybe the liposuction thingy would work ...

 
At 8:08 PM, Blogger Anonymous City Girl said...

Ladies,
There is a device like that.
One version is manual while another is run by a motor (like a liposuction machine). These devices are used to perform abortions... manual used for very early term while the motor run type device used later.
ACG

 
At 9:29 PM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

Yeah, but why can't they make one for us to use each month to get rid of uterine lining, not the other stuff!

 
At 10:21 PM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

DD--Sorry about ruining your dinner hon! XO

 
At 10:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I read that if you orgasm while you have your period, it causes the uterus to contract, therefore making the lining shed quicker. Makes sense.
~Sabredtongue.com

 
At 11:01 PM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

So, in a sense, you can use a vibrator as the device to clean yourself out quicker than letting you have a week-long stupid period, and there are other benefits as well! Perfect! LOL

 
At 10:51 AM, Blogger Anonymous City Girl said...

Steph--
Removing the uterine lining with such a device is how early term abortions are performed.
Reguarless of how one feels about abortions for themselves, you have to agree repeated abortions (even without an actual pregnacy) done outside a sterile enviroment is just not a good idea.
But it has been medically proven that testosterone and orgasm can have an effect in lessing cramps. When I lived with my college boyfriend my cramps all but stopped completely.

 
At 2:25 PM, Blogger Jeffrey Plumridge said...

I Think i puked a little bit in my mouth.

 
At 6:06 PM, Blogger Kim said...

OMG Stephanie. I've been thinking the same thing for years. Anon 10:58 PM, orgasms huh? I'm definitely going to try that. :)

 

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