MUCH BETTER!

Okay, I'm going to just write.

I feel much, much better because I was in a terrible funk, and not sure if it was period-driven, agent-driven, not-seeing-my-husband-since-Tuesday driven, writing-driven, children-driven, depression-medicine-driven, weight-gain-driven, lack of my grandenonfatsugarfreevanillalattewithezwhip-driven but I am better.

Whew.

I just said screw it, get out of this mood, and what way would make me immediately feel better about myself? By doing something good for myself, not in the ways of a Starbucks fix, but in a healthy matter.

I put on those $90 shoes and just ran. The most I have in ten years. I had my ipod with music chosen specifically for running, and it was a great feeling. I feel better.

Reasons I wasn't feeling too happy. And they are completely not legitimate reasons if I look all around me and see what other people don't have, have lost, want, need, etc.

And, "dear readers" (and that's in quotes because I hate when Bloggers refer to the people who read their blogs as dear readers), I'm going to be completely, completely honest here, and I know this is what some of you want to know.

I didn't like that an anonymous poster wrote something unkind.

There, you happy? This is the result you wanted. You made me feel badly. You won. But not for long, because I don't feel that way anymore. And I wasn't feeling bad because you said I posted "crap" and "trash." I posted something I felt like sharing, and if you've ever been in a writer's group or a writing class, it's scary to share your work, to read it in front of everyone, and even scarier to read something you have written that could have been of a personal nature. You bare your soul when you let someone read the words that come from within.

I don't care that you didn't like it. Hell, I hate The Catcher in the Rye. I hate Hemingway. I could care less about A Tale of Two Cities, Jane Eyre, Whoever...I don't even read the classics, or even know who some of the classic authors are. It's my choice. I have an opinion and if I don't want to read something, I don't.

What I posted is definitely not my best written piece, it's not my worst. It's not even something from the novel I wrote, and it might not even be something from the novel I am trying to write now. It was, as I titled it, "JUST SOMETHING."

The thing that gets me is that someone would deliberately set out to do something mean, to try to hurt someone, whether or not you know me, I don't know -- but I think you do, or else you're a very lonely person who gets kicks going onto random blogs and posting mean things.

If you wanted to critique what I had written, you should have done what Tobias did, and offered something constructive, something I could have taken from you in order to make my writing better. You're just mean and that makes me think you've got nothing better to do and you've got a lonely life, and for that, I feel sorry for you.

You might want to take a look inside and see what's missing from your life and how to make it better. Like I have done.