OK, I lied... Tuesday Sucks Too

Had a mini-nervous breakdown and I think it all started with the bees. I am petrified of them. And this is why: Bees Stung My Whole Family

So, yesterday when I was cleaning out the garage, removing boots, coats, mittens, hats etc, in the hopes that spring is really here, I received my first sign that spring is really here.

Bees.

I spotted what I fear will be the first of many active hives hidden under the garage gutters. I cringed. They are already moving, planning their attacks. Waiting to come in for the kill. I guess I’ll need to have my Epipen ready because last summer, under a different attack than the one I mentioned in the above link, there was another angry hive that got a few of us. One bee stung me on the hand and it blew up like a … come on, you know what I’m going to say… a condom. Ha, just wanted to see if you were paying attention… really, a balloon is what I thought to say. So, I went to the doctor, got some steroids and my very own pack of Epipens, which for some stupid reason, I don’t carry with me. Probably because, even more stupidly, I am more scared to give myself a shot than to deal with the bee sting and its aftermath.

Tonight, Ajers comes yelling into the kitchen, “There’s a bee in the house!” I seek vengeance. I find it, lounging on the floor, sniffing around what it hopes to be his new domain. I squash it.

And begin the search. Because, if there’s one, there’s more.

I spot another one at the corner of our skylight in the family room, way, way, way up high. Too high to get at. Then I remembered the extra long duster I have for our ceiling fans (that I've never used!), get that out, along with a chair, and tell the kids to go take cover upstairs because I don’t know if there’s a whole nest up there waiting to seek revenge for when I murder this one “mother-you-know-what.”

I take aim, and smash it with the fan duster, and it falls to the floor barely missing my head. It doesn’t die, and I manage to stick it in a plastic baggie so I can show the exterminator just what kind of intruders we have.

So, that episode started my panic attack of the evening.

Then, I call my mom, check in on how my Aunt is doing (my mother’s brother’s wife), and I fear she is dying of cancer so I’m feeling the mortality doors are closing in. I hate this feeling. Especially because we really don’t know if she’s dying, or just not doing too great. Either way, this bums me out. And the kids are screaming in the tub and I’ve about had it and I think of Andrea Yates and the tub deal and I just start crying to my mom. I don’t mean to, because I know she’s got enough to worry about. I cry to my mom that I’m feeling old, and I don’t want to get old. I tell her I didn't mean to cry, my voice just started cracking and the tears just came. It was the kind of crying where you just want to get into bed and cry your heart out until you feel better. I did feel better crying to my mommy after that.

Interruption! Diva just comes running downstairs in frenzy, and she NEVER, EVER gets out of bed. I’m thinking, great, there’s a bee in her room. No. She has lost her first tooth and is freaking out. So then I think, how wonderful, and what a nice way for my post to end because it was on such a downslide, and a first visit from the tooth fairy is an extremely exciting time in a five-almost-six-in-two-weeks year old’s life.

Continue downslide.

She starts crying saying she wants her tooth back in her mouth and she doesn’t like it out. Scott and I try to reassure her that it’s good to lose a tooth, and the tooth fairy will come – and damn Ajers if he ruins this for her because he already knows the truth.

More downslide…

Diva starts turning white, gags and throws up in the sink. I am holding her hair back, telling her it’s okay, she’s alright, and then she says she has to poop. So she goes and has diarrhea in the bathroom and she’s shaking and has the chills. I think this tooth thing has really freaked her out. And she’s got how many more baby teeth? Dear God.

Okay, she in bed now, with her tooth in a little box, and a note she had me write telling the tooth fairy that her tooth is in the box and not under her pillow. She’s got an ice pack on her forehead, a sippy cup next to her and a big ole Tupperware near her side in case she pukes more. So, sorry for the interruption of my otherwise very pleasant rant. Let’s continue on why Tuesday has sucked.

It rained, poured drastically all day. (Breakup Babe—you would have LOVED the weather in Chicago today!) The minute Ajers gets home from school, it’s who can we call, who can come over and play, why does he have to stay inside, yada yada yada. I yell at him, “Can’t you just be a normal bored kid and sit in front of the TV for like a six-hour period!?!!??!”

“But mom, outside is my life!”

And then later, after he gripes about there being nothing to do, but before tooth incident, he continues his gripefest and argues about having to go to bed. He says it’s not fair that moms and dads get to stay up and I tell him we really don’t want to stay up; we’d love to go to bed, but we have things to do around the house; work to do, lunches to make, dishes to clean up, and of course, the never-ending god-awful laundry.

His reply:
“You’re a mom -- you hardly have a job.”

I kid you not.

So, it was about this time in the evening I seriously did pop two Xanax (and I’m not addicted, I assure you!) and try to make the yucky parts of the day disappear.

I’m still not happy about the age thing ganging up on me--this other side of thirty is really making me disenchanted. And now the internet service is down nationwide. Nationwide! I am feeling so Amish right about now. I might as well go light an oil lamp and read by the flicker of the flame.

Hope your week is progressing much better than mine!

Addendum because I wrote this post on Tuesday night, and now it's Wednesday. Continuing with the theme of crappy week from hell--there are three new books coming out this month that are practically exactly like my stupid book I am trying to complete and this further frustrates me and makes me think I should just give it all up and become June Cleaver.