I Vow...

I vow to not start my day off with semi-sweet chocolate chips and continue with a chaser of peanut butter speckled egg M&Ms.

I vow to drink a gallon of water that I have chilled with lemon slices in my fridge.

I vow not to eat today as if it was my last day on earth as I did yesterday.

I vow to do some laundry today.

I vow NOT to go to Starbucks today.

I vow to concentrate more on not eating so much crap.

I vow to get outside and walk at least five days a week.

I vow to not be so bitchy toward my children.

I vow never to invite that kid over for a playdate again because he is a complete maniac.

I vow to stop being such a slave to this computer.

I vow to get some stuff done in my home before I switch on the computer for the day because if I turn the computer on before I do some household tasks, none of them get done until like, 5:30, just before Scott gets home so he thinks I’ve had a productive day.

I vow to quit obsessing over blackheads.

I vow to finish my novel and have it completed/ready for publishing houses by the end of May.

I vow to spend more time Swinging With The Clouds

I vow to not spend so much money when I go to the mall with Peg.

I vow to walk in the Y-Me Breast Cancer walk on Mother’s Day.

I vow to embrace my birthday next week, and be proud of the thirty-six year old woman I will become.

I vow to not let my size 12s get tight.

I vow to make this list at least 50 vows.

I vow to count vows so far to see where I’m at.

I vow to admit there’s no way I can come up with 30 more vows.

I vow to appreciate my kids when they want to cuddle with me because it won’t last much longer.

I vow to not gripe as much when I need to wipe a child’s butt (as long as it’s my own child’s butt).

I vow to try to keep the kitchen clutter-free each day when Scott gets home from work because I know it creates a sense of Fung Shui for him and makes him in a better mood.

I vow not to eat a single M&M or chocolate chip today (and no, this vow to not eat a single M&M or chocolate chip does not mean I can eat more than one and still be excused from this vow.)

I vow to continue to hate sorting socks.

I vow to pay attention to Diva when she’s lying on the floor in my office asking me to guess how many fingers she’s holding up.

And I vow to be thankful she’s not holding up the middle finger right this minute because I’m completely ignoring her while I type this.

I vow to go to sleep soon because I am extremely tired.

I vow to go over to that dumb construction site by the movie theater and scream at the leader, telling him it’s very annoying they have to start that very loud and annoying noise at seven a.m. each morning.

I vow to take glucosamine chondroitin to build up the cartilage in my crackling knees.

I vow to take a multi-vitamin every day.

I vow to stop pretending to use Tilex After Shower stuff after I take a shower because I’m too lazy to squirt some stuff on the tiles to prevent mildew.

I vow not to feel guilty for spending $84 on two bras in order to give me the support I so desperately need.

I vow to moisturize.

I vow to make each day better than the day before, but not so great that the next day will suck.

I vow to take a trip to California in the next year to visit my brother and sister-in-law since they are moving.

I vow to be grateful for the body I have been given, even with the extra pounds that have accumulated.

I vow to go weigh in at Weight Watchers, pay my stupid ten bucks because I am over my goal, but NOT look at the weight she writes down and make an effort to not overeat next week, even though it is my birthday week.

I vow to quit this stupid list now because I am boring the piss out of even me.

p.s—I started this list last night but I couldn’t post it for some reason, but today I’ve started some laundry; gone for a two-mile walk; taken the glucosamine chondroitin (haven’t taken the multi-vitamin yet because I haven’t eaten anything—not even chocolate!—and if I take the vitamin, I will feel sick; haven't been bitchy to the kids (of course, two-thirds of them are still sleeping); drank four glasses of lemon water, moisturized; and have been grateful for the day. So far, and it’s only 7:16 a.m.