Death Vs. Loss

Okay, here's something that in the wake of the Pope's passing, and the death of Terri Shiavo, I've been thinking about lately.

When someone dies and you send a sympathy card or express your sympathy in person, do you think the person wants to hear:
"Sorry for the loss of so-and-so (don't want to put a real person's name in here lest he/she be jinxed)"

or do you say:

"Sorry so-and-so died."

When you write in a card, do you say, "Sorry to hear about the loss of so-and-so" or do you write, "Sorry to hear so-and-so died" or how about, "Sorry to hear about the loss of your loved one," or "Sorry to hear about the passing of your loved one"?

I always wonder this as I'm expressing my condolences, and I think if it was a card being sent to me, or if the expression was being said to me, if someone was acknowledging the death of someone near and dear to me, I would want them to say, "I'm sorry so-and-so died." Because that's what happens, the person dies. They don't pass, they aren't lost. I just never know what to say for other people, and to say, "Sorry to hear your so-and-so died" does seem kind of harsh, to-the-point, right-there-in-your-face with the sadness, but isn't that what has happened?

Okay, enough of the morbid talk. Anyone else beside me get laid today? Or is it lie? Lay, lie, have lain. Shit, I gotta stop this madness!