I Caved On A Few - Update to my Vows

It's harder to keep thou vows to thouself--more so than I thought. I caved. And it wasn't my fault. Lisa made me do it.

Yes, I indulged in a (shhhh) Starbucks. But, it was a tall, which really is a small, as I'm sure everyone knows. But, other than that, I managed to obey a few of these vows.

DID IT!
I vow to not start my day off with semi-sweet chocolate chips and continue with a chaser of peanut butter speckled egg M&Ms.

ALMOST DID IT; WILL HAVE DONE IT BY THE END OF THE NIGHT (AND THANKS FOR THE CUCUMBER IDEA TOO, GABRIELLE)!
I vow to drink a gallon of water that I have chilled with lemon slices in my fridge.

DIDN'T OVEREAT YET, BUT THERE IS A TASTEFULLY SIMPLE PARTY I'M ATTENDING TONIGHT.
I vow not to eat today as if it was my last day on earth as I did yesterday.

DID IT. CAN'T YOU HEAR THE DRYER RUNNING?
I vow to do some laundry today.

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. FAILED.
I vow NOT to go to Starbucks today.

DIDN'T EAT TOO MUCH CRAP, (YET--SEE ABOVE ABOUT TASTEFULLY SIMPLE PARTY)
I vow to concentrate more on not eating so much crap.

WALKED MORE THAN MY SHARE TODAY. WILL WALK TOMORROW.
I vow to get outside and walk at least five days a week.

THIS WAS AN EASY ONE. DIDN'T SEE THEM ALL THAT MUCH TODAY, NO CHANCE TO BE BITCH
I vow to not be so bitchy toward my children.

WILL DO THIS FOR SURE. THE KID IS OUT!
I vow never to invite that kid over for a playdate again because he is a complete maniac.

KIND OF.
I vow to stop being such a slave to this computer.

DITTO ABOVE.
I vow to get some stuff done in my home before I switch on the computer for the day because if I turn the computer on before I do some household tasks, none of them get done until like, 5:30, just before Scott gets home so he thinks I’ve had a productive day.

FAILED; WAS PICKING AND SCRUTINIZING JUST MINUTES BEFORE I GOT ON THE COMPUTER, BUT WAIT! THAT MEANS I WAS 'GETTING SOME STUFF DONE IN MY HOME BEFORE I SWITCHED ON THE COMPUTER FOR THE DAY' SO THAT'S KIND OF GOOD!
I vow to quit obsessing over blackheads.

CONTINUING...
I vow to finish my novel and have it completed/ready for publishing houses by the end of May.

ACTUALLY DID SWING WITH THE CLOUDS TODAY WITH TUKEY!
I vow to spend more time Swinging With The Clouds

DIDN'T GO TO THE MALL TODAY; NO PROB THERE.
I vow to not spend so much money when I go to the mall with Peg.

WILL DO!
I vow to walk in the Y-Me Breast Cancer walk on Mother’s Day.

WILL DO!
I vow to embrace my birthday next week, and be proud of the thirty-six year old woman I will become.

(MAKE YOUR VOICE LIKE CAROLANNE IN POLTERGEIST WHEN SHE'S WATCHING THE TV TURN ALL STATICKY AND SAY: "IT'S HAPPENING...."
I vow to not let my size 12s get tight.

DON'T FEEL LIKE COUNTING THEM
I vow to make this list at least 50 vows.

SAME AS ABOVE.
I vow to count vows so far to see where I’m at.

VOWED.
I vow to admit there’s no way I can come up with 30 more vows.

CUDDLED THIS A.M.
I vow to appreciate my kids when they want to cuddle with me because it won’t last much longer.

WIPED BUTTS CHEERFULLY TODAY, WITH MUCH UNUSUAL ENTHUSIASM.
I vow to not gripe as much when I need to wipe a child’s butt (as long as it’s my own child’s butt).

CLUTTER-FREE UPON SCOTT'S ARRIVAL, EARLY TODAY, I MIGHT ADD.
I vow to try to keep the kitchen clutter-free each day when Scott gets home from work because I know it creates a sense of Fung Shui for him and makes him in a better mood.

NO M&Ms OR CHOCOLATE CHIPS (DOES A FEW HEALTHY SLUGS OF LISA'S VENTI MOCHA FRAP COUNT AS CHOCOLATE? I SAY NO!)
I vow not to eat a single M&M or chocolate chip today (and no, this vow to not eat a single M&M or chocolate chip does not mean I can eat more than one and still be excused from this vow.)

(I STILL HATE IT BUT I DID SORT SOME TODAY - SEE PREVIOUS VOW ABOUT LAUNDRY!)
I vow to continue to hate sorting socks.

WHATEVER.
I vow to pay attention to Diva when she’s lying on the floor in my office asking me to guess how many fingers she’s holding up.

WHATEVER AGAIN.
And I vow to be thankful she’s not holding up the middle finger right this minute because I’m completely ignoring her while I type this.

I DID GO TO BED EARLY LAST NIGHT--9:45 AND SLEPT UNINTERUPTED UNTIL 6 A.M.)
I vow to go to sleep soon because I am extremely tired.

TOO AFRAID BADASS CONSTRUCTION GUYS MIGHT KILL ME.
I vow to go over to that dumb construction site by the movie theater and scream at the leader, telling him it’s very annoying they have to start that very loud and annoying noise at seven a.m. each morning.

TOOK THREE PILLS.
I vow to take glucosamine chondroitin to build up the cartilage in my crackling knees.

GOING TO TAKE IT RIGHT THIS MINUTE.
I vow to take a multi-vitamin every day.

I TILEXED.
I vow to stop pretending to use Tilex After Shower stuff after I take a shower because I’m too lazy to squirt some stuff on the tiles to prevent mildew.

NEED TO TRY THEM ON TO SEE IF I LIKE STILL.
I vow not to feel guilty for spending $84 on two bras in order to give me the support I so desperately need.

DONE THIS A.M.
I vow to moisturize.

TODAY WAS PRETTY GOOD.
I vow to make each day better than the day before, but not so great that the next day will suck.

WILL DO MY BEST.
I vow to take a trip to California in the next year to visit my brother and sister-in-law since they are moving.

NOT SO GRATEFUL TODAY-SEE NEXT VOW.
I vow to be grateful for the body I have been given, even with the extra pounds that have accumulated.

BAD. BAD. BAD. I DID GO, AND PAID MY $10.95. TOLD THE LADY TO NOT TELL ME MY WEIGHT BUT THAT I DID WANT TO KNOW THE SECOND NUMBER BECAUSE IF SHE SAID IT WAS HIGHER THAN WHAT I EXPECTED, I WAS GOING TO BE DRAMATICALLY PISSED AT MYSELF. IT WAS THE HIGHER OF THE TWO NUMBERS I THOUGHT IT COULD BE. SO THEN I SAID, "WELL, IS THE THIRD NUMBER OF THE WEIGHT UNDER OR OVER FIVE?" SHE SAID, "UNDER." THEN ASKED IF I HAD BEEN ON VACATION AND I SAID YES AND THAT I HAD MY PERIOD. SHE SUGGESTED I NOT LOOK AT THE NUMBER SHE WROTE DOWN. I HAVEN'T, BUT I KNOW IT'S BAD, AND BY PURE CALCULATIONS, IT'S GOT TO BE 4-6 POUNDS MORE THAN THE LAST TIME I WENT TO WW, WHICH IS BAD. BAD. BAD.
I vow to go weigh in at Weight Watchers, pay my stupid ten bucks because I am over my goal, but NOT look at the weight she writes down and make an effort to not overeat next week, even though it is my birthday week.

I vow to quit this stupid list now because I am boring the piss out of even me.

Thank the Lord I can at least keep my marriage vows because by the looks of this list and how many I vowed to keep and failed at, I'm in bad shape!