SICK

In honor of all the germs saturating our home this weekend, I wanted to post something I wrote a few years ago. It's seems appropo (sp?) for the times, although, it's mostly the kids who are sick... seems I have FOUR kids now... heh, heh... Stay well!


When women are sick, they go to work because they’ve used up all of their sick days taking care of the kids when they were sick.

When men are sick, they go to work so they can get a break from the wife and kids.

Women just want to be left alone in their misery.

Men find it necessary to sit within three feet of the otherwise uninfected people and moan about how terrible they feel, when they haven’t even pooped or puked yet.

Women worry that they’ll get the kids sick.

Men blame the kids for getting them sick.

Men still feel like having sex.

Women finally have a legitimate excuse for saying no.

Women want nothing to do with food, for once in their lives.

Men down a bowl of soup and half a roast beef sandwich, and still complain that they can’t eat and may starve to death.

Men can manage to catch the last quarter of the game, and tune in to ESPN to hear the latest scores, moaning all the while about how sick they feel.

Women are still able to make lunch for the kids, put in a video and pick up a couple of toys.

Women actually do not feel like having a conversation.

Men finally feel like communicating all of their feelings, especially the ones that detail what it was like to throw up last night’s pot roast.

Women can manage to wipe down the toilet bowl with a disinfectant during a heave break.

Men are pleased with themselves for making it to the toilet in time, incredibly managing to do so during halftime.

Men become more needy than a two-year old with a poopy diaper and a runny nose.

Women search for the bright side and think, “Well, at least I’m losing weight.”

Women can’t wait to feel better so they can get the overflow of laundry finished and clean up the mess that hubby and kids made.

Men can’t wait to feel better so they can have a beer.

And the number one reason why men are worse than women when they are sick…

Men wipe their brow, ask for water and have the nerve to say, “Wow, now I know what labor must have been like for you."

Stephanie Elliot, 2003 copywrite