Manic Mom's Mental Myriads

Stop by and have a laugh from Manic Mom's Mental Myriads on Motherhood, and some other stuff too, but mostly motherhood, wifehood, thoughts on writing, etc. No politics will be discussed here or geography, and I will not be solving any mathematical equations. Just some BS on whatever I feel like blogging on...

Monday, February 07, 2005

Even A Tall Didn't Help

Okay, I'm depressed. Get out the hankies everyone while I share the news...

I'm growing old.

Ugh, it is just as excruciating to write it as it is to think it. Thank God I don't have to say it aloud to anyone. But it's true, and here are some recent examples that are leading me to this enlightenment. One, which I am certainly not happy about, but I need to just face reality (with an unbotoxed forehead still, at this point) and get real -- I am (oh, and this just pains me)
middle-aged.

There are many indications of such. One being I just got my hair cut and colored by a team of twenty-somethings and I tried to keep up with the chat, pretend I am cool, but to no avail. They were on to me. Shit. I wonder how old they really thought I was.

After the haircut and color, in which I was coerced into a 'few' foils by Pam or Mandy or Amanda or Pamela or whateverthehelltheirnameswerebutdiditreallymattercuztheywerejustsostinkingcute... Anyway, after the cut/color combo, I left the salon (and here, if I was really blogger-savvy, I could insert the link to the salon, and I'm sure it must be simple enough, and it's probably something like www.zanos.com --go ahead, try it, see if you get a trendy salon in the midwest)... so, I left the salon and of course, by the law of nature, it was raining and I had no umbrella so now I've got red streaks on my shoulder, but I played a little mind game with myself.

"If I walk by Barnes & Noble and it's open until 11 instead of 10, I go in. If it's open until 10, I go home."

I went in. And got further depressed because almost every new book that looked interesting to me was written by someone who was born in the seventies or eighties!!! And, good God, yes, I am only eight months shy of being a seventies child, but come on!! These people, these mere children, these babes, if you will, are PUBLISHED AUTHORS with the book(s) they've always wanted to write out there on those shelves, making a mockery of the work I am trying to create, the one that is tucked away in this God-awful computer, the one with more than 85,000 words, and more than 300 pages, just sitting there, dying, bleeding, begging to be let out, so the world can read what I have to say!

Ugh, what is my problem here?

I've got the agent, I've got the chick-litty/mom-litty novel with a cute little twist, I've got the lovable characters who are quirky, confused, grappling with life, I've got the office, I've got the five hours free a week where I am exempt from children hanging onto my ankles, begging for me to print out another gd picture of Shrek or Scooby Doo, or the Wiggles, or Rainbow Brite, or pleading for breakfast or lunch, or asking for help with a friendly butt wipe, SO WHY CAN'T I FINISH THIS LITTLE NAGGING NOVEL THAT'S BEEN IN MY HEAD FOR ALMOST THREE YEARS NOW?

Am I afraid? Or just being completely lazy and stupid?

And the icing on the cake that is making me feel really old? On the way home, I was listening to 93.1 XRT (and again, this would be a cool place to slip in the link to this radio station), and the DJ was announcing the tunes he had just played. He mentioned Walk of Life, by Dire Straits is "a couple decades old." Ugh. I remember clearly when that came out.

Next, they'll probably tell me Hungry Like the Wolf, by Duran Duran (my first ever MTV video I viewed) is three decades old.
Shoot me. Or, at least Shoot me up with some botox for crying out loud.


10 Comments:

At 12:57 PM, Blogger randy said...

Hey, there are worse things than getting old. Try getting old when you're SINGLE. There. Feel better now? :-)

 
At 6:02 PM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

Thanks Randy! Made me feel better, and only because I like my husband ; )

At least YOU live where the sun shines! I'll be checking out your blog! Love the title already! Steph

 
At 6:51 PM, Blogger randy said...

Steph--just so you know, despite the spelling of my name, I'm not some guy lusting after you from bloggerland--didn't want you to get creeped out! I'm a sister-in-chick-lit and enjoy your posts on the loop so I checked out your blog. When it asked for a username, I ended up starting one of my own. So, just think. You begat a blog today. I think that means you can relax and take the rest of the day off. :-)
Randy

 
At 8:25 PM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

Hey Randy--I didn't even think you were a guy at all. I was just commenting on how it's a good thing I like my husband (today anyway!)hahah. Keep on blogging, looking forward to reading your stuff!

 
At 8:26 PM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

Randy--what's your 'code'name on our chicky loop?

 
At 10:21 PM, Blogger Christa said...

As I interrupt this conversation...

Perhaps...just perhaps...

I think my own novel procrastination comes from the "unleash the beast" theory. What if I publish a book, and it didn't magically make all my dreams come true? What if it sucks and nobody buys it? What if I'm the only one who thinks I can write a novel, and when I tell my friends that this is my ambition, they sound supportive but they are all snickering behind my back and waiting for me to fail???? What if my mom reads the parts I wouldn't want her to read????

I'm sure your novel is a prisoner in your PC for a deeper reason than you think.

 
At 11:45 PM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

Christa--love the "prisoner in the PC" thought! And being afraid of mom reading the novel! I think we writers just have to believe that we can do it, and be dedicated enough to get it done in order for us to succeed. Believe, that is my new mantra. That, and "I'm-really-tired-and-should-go-to-bed-and-why-do-I-do-this-every-single-night?!?! When I could be sleeping? It's the PASSION of the writer! Ha.

 
At 10:35 AM, Blogger randy said...

Steph--I don't use a code; I mainly lurk. But when I post, I use my name. I write mostly ST contemporary romantic comedy (1 complete; 1 almost) but I also have a hen-lit I started during NaNoWriMo and plan to work on that just as soon as I can get the second ST done. I've got that "prisoner in a PC" thing going on right now, too. I'm about 300 pages into the damn thing and I'm scared to death the decisions I make now could make or break the whole book, and I don't want to blow it!!! Luckily (I hope!) two weeks from now, I'm getting together with an on-line cp...we're holing up at the Biltmore Hotel in L.A. for some brainstorming and I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a breakthrough...that is, if the bar scene doesn't get in the way. :-)
-Randy

 
At 9:18 PM, Blogger jules said...

Wow, I sure can relate! I just happened to stumble upon your blog today and I LOVE IT!! Perhaps because I am a hip young chick trapped in the body of a 36 year old mother of two...hehe. As my youngest would say, more! MORE!!

 
At 9:24 PM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

Hey Jules! Thanks for reading, and letting me know your thoughts! I checked out your blog--get writing more! I'm a point counter on WW too! Thanks for checking in!

 

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