Crap-Rant

I'm in a completely crappy mood and ready to rant, so if you're not in the mood to hear me gripe about the mundane (but very important) things in my life, then just click to another more interesting blog now. Go.

Okay, for those of you still here. I have been on a stupid roller coaster today and I hate roller coasters, even the fun part of going way, way up. Today started on an up. Diva has her first loose tooth, and we were all excited and she wanted to call her grandparents and share the news. During this time, Ajer kept saying, "Should we tell her? Should we tell her?" And then he'd loud-whisper to me: "You know, about the tooth fairy?" I grabbed him by the arm and shoved him into the guest bedroom. "You shut your mouth about that or you will be forever doomed." So, then he comes out and goes, "You know, McK, if you decorate your tooth with paint and sparkles and some glitter glue, then the tooth fairy brings you extra money--you could make like $40!"

I glare at him more.

So, that's not the part of the day that annoyed me. Five minutes after we jumped for joy about the loose tooth, I served breakfast and Diva (who eats just five food items: apples, anything white-based and breadlike --not pasta or sauces of any type though, ketchup, carrots and peanut butter), anyway, Diva decides she can't eat with a loose tooth, so the few things she does eat are no longer valid food items. I hope that damned tooth comes out soon.

So, then, what else pissed me off today. Well, yesterday it was Ajer who woke up and pulled the old "I'm sick" on me and I fell for it. I did take him to school at 10 a.m. and decided I am worst mother in the world for two reasons: Getting the wool pulled over on me and being a sucker, and then for not being more understanding of my first grader who is having a stressful time. But that has nothing to do with today.

So, things are progressing, get Diva on the bus and then Tookie and I go to the mall, where I get completely depressed over clothes and my body image when I try on some things, but then the roller coaster goes up another hill and I find some size 12 jean shorts so I buy two the same kind, different color denim. I know to a lot of you 12 might seem huge, but it's not for me. 12 is good. I've been bigger than an 18 so to me, 12 is normal. 14 was normal for a very long time but I don't want to be back there. (I'll revisit the weight watcher saga someday here.) So, then I left in a good mood and even went to Fannie May for some mint meltaways thinking it would further boost my seratonin levels and cheer me up. Nope, it just made me fatter.

Then I take the older kids to gymnastics and Tookie watches Sully and Mike from Monster's Inc. on the VCR in the van while I click my front car seat, way way back and close my eyes while the sun burns into my face, which feels good in the car with the heat because it's really like 25 degrees out. This is a very good situation until Tookie taps me on the shoulder and tells me he's hot. I pull his jacket and hooded sweatshirt off him as his cheeks flush.

So, that's not even the bad part of the day and I guess it wasn't a hugely crappy day but then I come home and find out this woman has written this book (a memoir) called Knocked Up, Confessions of a Hip Mom-To-Be, and this royally pisses me off to no end because although my novel is fiction, there are too many damn similarities to her memoir and I'm angry that I've been so lazy in getting my novel completed. I literally had a pit in my stomach thinking, great, there's my book, but in non-fiction. So, now I am just so annoyed and anxious to complete my book before nobody wants to read it.

Oh, another thing, I was feeling extreme nostalgia for PA today and missing my friends there incredibly, and also even missing the stupid NY style pizza they have there. And here I am in Chicago for crying out loud with the best pizza in the US.

And then, Tookie said on our way home from the mall today that he was going to say a prayer. So he said, "Dear Jesus, please make a friend for me." Rip out the heart.

Oh, AND ANOTHER THING, I was getting nostalgic because Diva is riding a two-wheeler, her teeth are getting loose, the kids are getting big, and I even watched The Baby Story this a.m. which I HAVEN'T WATCHED SINCE I WAS PREGNANT WITH TOOKIE FOUR YEARS AGO! Then, at the mall, I am watching all these moms with two and three kids and some even with four or pregnant with their fourth, and I'm actually feeling sad thinking that these moms are probably looking at me thinking I only have one kid and how they must feel sorry for me that I only have one, or jealous of me because I can go out with a potty-trained, non-sippy cup drinking, well-behaved kid.

So, now I think I'm done. I'm not feeling better, well, not that much, but I think I can now go finish cleaning up the kitchen and I will go to yoga which I was going to blow off because there's no way this stupid mind of mine is going to chill enough to concentrate on the stupid downward dog or plank.

And now, I hear Tookie saying, "You the bad dad; I don't like you." Here he is now. End Post.