Ugh.

New Capri Jeans, a bearable size, not on sale:
$48

Bust-worthy top:
$12

Target shoes to match bust-worthy top, (Of course they're Target!):
$14.99

Husband staying with kids instead of babysitter:
$0

First round of drinks, which included my caramel appletini with cherry, two Coronas, and a Canadian Club and Diet:
$25 with tip

Three appetizers, two more rounds of drinks, which included my Blue Moon beer with extra oranges:
$49

Tip:
$10

Next round of drinks at Hugo's (yep, Melanie--that Hugo's, and those Key Lime Martinis):
$27

Next round of drinks at Hugo's which we thought we found "sponsors" for but ended up having to pay ourselves:
$42

Ditching so-called sponsors because they didn't pay for our drinks: PRICELESS...

But there's more...

Another round of appletinis at Peanuts bar where we had to listen to some guy with who had his own six-pack with him tell us about his dead fiance, and then his dead wife (couldn't keep his story straight):
An hour of our time wasted, and another $30.

Going back to the original bar where we ditched the sponsors, telling them we left because our other friend, "Heidi" got sick, and then drinking more:
$$ Who the hell knows at this point?

Staying for last call on a Thursday night (now Friday a.m.) and leaving the bar, and S finding money on the curb:
$14

Listening to friend S have conversation with drunk Tara Reid look-a-like who is wearing a 'top' that looks like two fuschia scarves going from her shoulders and tied down at her waist, completely open and breast-baring, sporting a freshly bleeding knee says: "I need a bandaid."

S: "Honey, I think you could use a bra too."

Then almost getting into a catfight with the drunk, bleeding Tara Reid look-a-like, and smuggily knowing we could kick her ass:
Priceless.

Not accepting the ride from the first taxi driver cuz he was smoking: $0

Burritos, chips, and a huge Diet Coke purchased after we made our taxi driver search for something open at 1:30 a.m. on a Friday:
$18

Having cell ring at 1:30 a.m. and hearing concerned husband on the other end wondering where I am:
Sweet.

Getting home safely, and without throwing up in the taxi:
$35 (I know, I know, but I was drunk and home alive, and not puking, and the taxi guy deserved a good tip--hell, $35 is waaaay cheaper than a DUI, dontcha think?)

Having a fabulous time with girlfriends who have known each other for over half their lives on a Thursday night:
Absolutely, positively priceless!

I can't remember the last time I've been this hungover on a Friday.