A List

What You Don't Know About Me.

The most I've ever weighed was 240.

I once was catheterized when I was a little girl. The nurse told me to open my legs, put my heels together and ribbit like a frog.

That same night, I saw Wizard of Oz for the first time, and scared to death, I turned it off during the flying monkey part, thinking it was over.

I stole a case of Pop/Soda whatever... Okay, it was Diet Coke, from Jewel after a night of drinking. We paid for a bunch of other stuff though. Maybe it was a 12-pack, not a case.

We used to buy Rhinelander beer in college because we got a rebate from the bottles, even though the beer sucked.

I once gave a boy a pair of my undies on the side of a house. A couple years later, I met up again with that boy in college at a bar. He approached me and said, "I think I have something that belongs to you."

I went home with him that night.

My roommate and I were called the smoke dick chicks in college, but not because that was something we were doing, but because it was a catch-phrase we used in leui of "Screw you" or something worse, but thinking back, how can it get any worse than "Smoke dick?"

I dropped out of my first college math class a week into it.

My college roommate brought home a totally hot guy one night, but she ended up in the bathroom puking, so I "took over" for her. (She, by the way, is still my friend, and already knows this, but I didn't tell her for years.)

My favorite ice cream flavor it Peppermint chip but it has to be the pink colored ice cream with the red, blue and green mint candies in it.

I've never been pregnant at a time I didn't want to be.

I won a writing monetary scholarship in high school worth $125. There was one other person going for it, and I think the teachers gave it to me because they felt sorry for me. The other girl was much more qualified.

I dressed up as a used tampon one Halloween for a party. It was hilarious. Unfortuntaely, I was too hung over from the weekend before I enjoy myself.

I (shhh, this is a big one) kissed a girl once. Romantically.

Our husbands (shhh, again) were watching.

The first gift I ever received from Hubby was the ugliest hooded sweatshirt with San Francisco emblazoned in cursive on the front. It was pink and blue with satin trim and two sizes too small. He kept asking me when I was going to wear it. I put it on one day for class when I was leaving his apartment, ran over to the student center and changed out of it. I wish to God I had saved that sweatshirt, just so I could remind him what an ugly and stupid gift it was.

I refuse to get rid of the shirt I was wearing the night I met Hubby. I will neither get rid of the shirt he was wearing. His was from The Gap. Mine was from The Limited.

At my driver's test when I was 16, the instructor told me to turn right and I went left, running over a small curb. I still passed.

I could live off of french fries and pizza if those were the only two foods left on earth. Oh, and Diet Coke.

I rarely crave chocolate, but you wouldn't believe it if you read the archives.

I could still pro-create if I choose to.

I'm not going to choose to.

When Diva came out of my vagina, I thought she was a boy. I didn't care because I was just so glad I was able to do it (Ajers was a C-section baby).

Instead of purchasing iTunes with my credit card, I go to Target, purchase a pre-paid card there and use it when I get home, so Hubby does not know I'm spending frivilously on the internet.

I'm afraid of eBay.

I have about 10 notebooks of journal entries from college. I used to think I would die if anyone read them. Now I don't think they're that bad.

I love Sesame Street and Grover is my favorite. I'm sad my children are no longer interested in it.

I would rather read, write or buy books than see a movie or shop for clothes.

I only buy shoes from Target or Payless, and not because I'm cheap... Okay, maybe because I am cheap, but shoes are shoes (please don't ream me for this!)

I've only worked for men.

I've only had three real jobs.

All three bosses names began with the letter J. Two of them were named Jim.

I never slept with my bosses.

I've slept with co-workers, but not in real jobs, and some of them had names beginning with the letter J too. Okay, maybe just one.

My mother told us our vaginas were called pelvis when we were growing up. A penis was called a penis.

We played doctor all the time when I was a kid. I think every kid does, or maybe I was just weird?

I read and loved and coveted every single Judy Blume book when I was young.

I once hid a pack of my mom's cigarettes in my bedroom drawer because I wanted her to quit smoking. She, in turn, thought I had started smoking. This was like in third grade.

I don't really remember the first time I got really drunk.

I have thrown up from overdrinking countless times. There are pictures of my throwing up. Many of them.

I threw up in my husband's car on our way home from an elaborate party. His employee and his wife were in the back seat. I got some vomit on the woman. Hubby is frightened every time I get into his car if I've been drinking now.

We take cabs whenever we go out now.

I've thrown up in a cab.

I've thrown up and had to swallow it back down as the occasion/location didn't permit me to throw up.

I first tried marijuana on a cruise ship.

I've never done cocaine, X, acid. I always wanted to try two of those three but probably won't now because I am a mother.

My parents thought I was doing drugs in college because I got very skinny. I wish I remembered how I did it.

My favorite movie when I was growing up was GREASE. I still have my GREASE trading cards that are probably worth something.

I would try to sell them on eBay if I wasn't afraid.

I hate gin.

I don't like beer anymore either.

I still have a teddy bear that was given to me when I was born. I remember thinking it was the hugest toy in the world. It's not.

I still have my Good Luck Care Bear I got for Christmas when I was a sophomore in high school.

I don't let Diva play with either of these toys.

I used to try on my mom's lingerie. I think my brothers did too. They're not gay.
Or cross-dressers.

I went to a Catholic grade school and there were 23 students in my eighth grade graduating class. I know at least two of them have died - one a car accident, one a suicide. I wonder if anything we did to the one who committed suicide caused him to do it? I wrote a poem about him once. I know one of them walked down the aisle at her high school graduation pregnant, and I think she has been married twice and has five children. I always wonder if she got fat. I am still friends with my best friend from back then (Hi Ann!).

The best summer of my life was when I was twenty. So far.