Funk

As in, "I'm in one." Just in a crabby, crappy mood and for really no reason. Missing friends from PA, dealing with a 7-year old who is getting a smarty attitude, and a five-year old who is on the verge of becoming a porn star (not really, and won't go into the details, let's just say Darling Diva likes to be nudey... which I guess is normal for a kid this age?) But I didn't want to get into that here.

So, Ajer Bajer lost his 6th tooth tonight, and this just happens to be his second one since he found out the tooth fairy is big old mom and dad. I had to tell him. He looked me in the eye a few teeth ago and said, "Tell me the truth mom, is the tooth fairy real?" Of course, I didn't have the brain cells at the time to say, "Do you want her to be real?" I had used that one before, and frankly, I was just tired of lying to him or changing the subject.

Speaking of changing the subject, shouldn't I be flattered that Jumbo lusts after me all over the house, and why don't I ever want a piece of the action? Aren't the mid-thirties supposed to be a woman's peak or whatever they say? If so, I got royally screwed in that department because if I made a list of things I want to do with my free time, having sex would be after sing ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall ninety-nine times. Pathetic.

Here is my list though, of things I want to do with my free time, which is extremely limited these days:
Sleep
Nap
Lose Weight (which would then mean I would have to include exercise on this list in order to lose weight...)
Exercise
Go out to nice dinners and order nice wines (Which would erase --what's that other big word--accerbate...something like that --remove, delete, counteract, erase...))) my earlier quest to lose weight...
But wait!
This is a list about the things I would do with a limited amount of free time, so let's start it over. If I could have four full hours to myself what would I choose to do during those four full hours:
Nap
Sleep (okay, those are on both lists)
Go to B&N and browse
Go to B&N and get a grandenonfatsugarfreevanillalatte *finally know how to order one!* and a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie --which then negates --that's the word I was looking for!--the sugarfreenonfatlatte.
Write
Lay down alone and breathe
Take a yoga class
Go for a walk
Go for a power walk.
Hold a baby (not for the full four hours, just until it started crying or trying to latch onto my breast).

OK, so, can you see I'm in a funk?

Anyway... why do people say, "Anywhoo" I just don't understand that one.
I've got another idea for a book, and this time it's a young adult novel that just came to me this a.m. so I had to immediately jot down notes so I wouldn't forget. I started writing a little too. It's called Shepherd Girl, not that it has anything to do with sheep or shepherds, but doesn't the name sound pretty cool? And I have the last line of the book wrapped up too.

So, still in a funk, but this is therapeutic to be brainstorming on this stuff. Sorry if I'm boring you to tears, but hey, this is what it's all about.

BTW, just read The Pleasure of my Company by Steve Martin--he is a beautiful writer. I'm so glad he's sharing his literary talent with the world as well as his comedic talents. Of course, he always rocked as a singer... King Tut... How funky is your monkey? Ok, thou hast once again digressed.